Over 60 Dating In New Zealand

New Zealand is a small country where a great many people know a great many other people, and that cuts both ways when you find yourself on your own again in your sixties. On the one hand, everybody knows somebody. On the other, that's exactly the problem. In a town where half the district would have an opinion, the idea of going looking for company can feel like taking out an ad in the local paper.

Which is one reason a good number of Kiwis start online instead, and why a site for your own age group works better than a general one.

The privacy question first

It's what people ask about before anything else, so let's take it first. Your surname isn't shown. Your email address and mobile number are never displayed. What appears is your first name, your photo, your town or city, and whatever you choose to write. Members are spread from Northland to Southland, so you're not limited to whoever happens to be within twenty minutes of you.

The photo is a genuine judgement call in a country this size, and it's worth thinking about rather than being told. Most people conclude it's worth it, because without one you'll get very little interest. If you'd rather ease in, start with a good profile and no photo, and add one once you've got the measure of the place.

Why an age-specific site

On a general app you spend most of your time filtering out people who were never going to suit, and fielding the odd message from somebody half your age with an investment opportunity. Here everybody is in the same age bracket by design, and that changes the tone of the whole place. Nobody has to explain why they're not looking for a nightclub.

The common ground is already there too. Finishing up at work, grown children, mokopuna either up the road or across the ditch in Brisbane, a house that's got too big for one, and whether you'll do anything with the winter. None of it needs prefacing.

What people are actually after

Not everybody wants to marry again, and it's worth saying so out loud. Some are looking for a partner. Plenty are looking for company: somebody to have tea with, take a trip with, sit through a film with and pull apart afterwards. Others want a walking companion or somebody to do the Rail Trail with and would be perfectly content if it never went further than that.

All of those are fine, and the people who do best are the ones who say plainly which they're after. Being clear costs nothing and saves everybody months.

Getting to each other, and the Gold Card

One practical thing that makes this easier than people expect. If you're 65 or over, your SuperGold Card gives you free off-peak public transport: 9am to 3pm and after 6.30pm on weekdays, and all day at weekends and public holidays. In Auckland there's an extra window from 3pm to 6.30pm on weekdays, funded by the council.

So a mid-morning coffee across town costs you nothing but the morning, and a Saturday anywhere on the network is free all day. That's worth knowing before you set your search radius at twenty minutes out of habit.

Taking it at your own pace

The genuinely useful thing about starting online isn't the searching, it's the distance. You can swap messages for a fortnight before deciding whether you'd like to hear the person's voice, and hear their voice before deciding whether you'd like to meet at all. Nobody's standing in front of you while you make your mind up. And because all the messaging happens inside the site, if you'd rather not carry on you simply stop replying, and that really is the end of it.

Where to start

Joining is free and takes ten minutes or so. A few honest lines, a recent photo, and a look at who's about. If you want the detail, there's a guide to writing a good profile, one on the photo, and one on what to say in that first message.

Before you start talking to anybody, give ten minutes to staying safe online and to spotting a scammer. Police put New Zealanders' losses to romance scams in the tens of millions a year, and reckon plenty more goes unreported because people are embarrassed. That's not a reason to stay home. It's a reason to know the signs, because the people who know them never get near the trouble.

And if it turns out not to suit you, no harm done. There are plenty of other ways to meet people over 60 in New Zealand, and the ones who get somewhere usually have two or three on the go at once.

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