Over 60 Dating Questions

Most people want a few things cleared up before they put their name to anything, which is fair enough. These are the ones we get asked most often, answered straight.

• What does it cost to join?

  Nothing to join. A free account lets you put up a profile and look through the members near you, so you can see who's actually on here before you decide anything. Sending messages needs a paid premium membership, and you can take that out whenever you're ready rather than on day one.

• Why is there a charge at all?

  Because a person checks every profile before it goes live, and because there are over 50 people employed across the service, security specialists among them. Sites that charge nothing tend to end up with a scammer problem, and the charge is the single biggest reason we don't have one.

• Do I have to put up a photo?

  You don't have to. You'll get considerably more interest if you do, though, and that's the honest answer. It needn't be anything fancy either. A recent one in good light, on your own, smiling, is the whole of it. If you don't like any of the photos you've got, ask one of the mokopuna. They've been taking pictures since they could hold a phone.

• Will anyone see my email address or mobile number?

  Never. Neither is displayed anywhere on the site. What other members see is your first name, your photo, your town or city, and whatever you've written about yourself. The member area runs over an encrypted connection.

• How does the messaging work?

  All of it happens inside the site, so you never hand over an email address or a mobile number just to talk to somebody. That matters more than it sounds: if you decide you'd rather not carry on, you simply stop replying, and they've no other way of getting hold of you. You'll need a premium membership to send messages.

• Who else is on it?

  New Zealanders over 60, from Kaitaia down to Invercargill, cities and small towns alike. Some are widowed, some separated or divorced, some have been on their own a fair while. Some are hoping to meet a partner, others would be happy with somebody to have dinner with or go walking with on a Sunday. All of that's normal here and nobody needs to explain themselves.

• What should I write in my profile?

  Where you're from, what you do with your time, and what you're hoping to find. Particular beats general every time. Naming the walk you do on a Sunday, or the fact you've had the same bach in the family for forty years, tells somebody far more about you than describing yourself as easygoing ever will.

• What does premium membership add?

  Unlimited messaging, a list of who's been looking at your profile, the advanced search filters, and a view of who happens to be online at the same time as you.

• What if somebody asks me for money?

  Don't send it, however convincing the story and however long you've been talking. Report them from their profile, which takes a couple of clicks, stays confidential and is never shown to the person you've reported. If money has already gone, ring your bank straight away, then report it to Police on 105 or at police.govt.nz. For free, confidential advice you can also contact Netsafe on 0508 638 723 or text 4282. And there's no shame in it. These people do this full time and they're good at it.

• How do I tell whether somebody suits me?

  Narrow the search down by area, age and interests, then read the written part of the profiles properly instead of skimming the photos. The writing tells you more. After that it comes down to a few conversations, so don't try to decide before you've spoken to anybody.

• Will it work on my phone?

  It will, on any phone or tablet with an internet connection, and on a computer the same. If you're not confident with the phone yet, SeniorNet run learning sessions on exactly this, taught by volunteers who are the same age as the people they're teaching. No jargon and no silly questions.

If there's something we haven't covered here, the support team will sort you out. The number's at the bottom of the page.

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