Online Dating For Singles Over 60

So here you are. Sixty something, single again, and whatever it was that landed you here, the dust has more or less settled. You've decided it's time for a change. Time to get out of the house. Time, quite possibly, to meet somebody.

Cast your mind back to your last first date. There's a fair chance it was with the person you then spent the next few decades married to. How old were you? Twenty one? Eighteen? Either way it's been a while. Thirty or forty years, for some of us. Things have moved on.

Which means most of what worked last time is off the table. The roller rink has been flattened and turned into a carpark. Nobody is going to be won over by a mixtape. And what the other person is hoping for from an evening out has changed a good deal more than the venue has.

So let's go through what's different.

You're older

This sounds obvious. It's worth saying anyway. You're not eighteen, and neither is anybody you'll be meeting, which is mostly excellent news. It does mean that pulling up outside her place on a borrowed motorbike with no muffler and a ripped leather jacket won't carry quite the charge it did in 1979. Probably for the best. What you've got instead is better: you know who you are, and you've given up pretending to be somebody else. People can tell, and they like it.

Your date comes with a history

So do you. They've likely been married, possibly more than once. There may be children, mokopuna, a business, an elderly parent, a dog with strong opinions about visitors. None of it is about you.

When the ex rings halfway through dinner, that's his past, not your present. When hers turns up to drop off the grandkids and looks faintly put out to find you standing in the kitchen, that isn't aimed at you either. The only thing that ever works here is saying so out loud. Tell them what you're comfortable with and what you're not, ask them the same, and sort it out between you. You're both quite old enough to manage a conversation.

You've got baggage

Everybody has by this stage. The temptation is to rebuild the good bits of the last relationship out of new materials. Resist it. This is a different person, and if you're honest with yourself, so are you. Let the thing turn into whatever it's going to turn into. It might be better. It'll certainly be more interesting.

Leave the suitcase at the station. You can always send for it later if you find you miss it.

What hasn't changed

The main thing, really. Everybody wants somebody, and turning sixty doesn't excuse you from that. If anything you've got the advantage now. You know what you're after, you know what you won't put up with, and you've stopped wasting years on the gap between the two.

One practical thing in your favour too. If you're 65 or over, your SuperGold Card gives you free off-peak public transport, so meeting somebody across town for a mid-morning coffee costs you nothing but the morning.

So take a breath and sign up for an online dating account. Worst case, you get a few decent conversations and something to tell your friends about on Friday.

Author: Judy Porter.

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